The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy (Part 4)

Stick Boy’s Festive Season

Stick Boy noticed that his Christmas tree looked healthier
than he did.

Brie Boy

Brie Boy had a dream he had only had twice,
that his full, round head was only a slice.


The other children never let Brie Boy play ...
... but at least he went well with a nice Chardonnay.

Mummy Boy

He wasn't soft and pink
witha fat little tummy;
he was hard and hollow,
a little boy mummy.

"Tell us, please, Doctor,
the reason or cause,
why our gundle of joy
is just a bundle of gauze."

"My diagnosis," he said
"for better or worse,
is that your son is the result
of an old pharaoh's curse."

That night they talked
of their son's odd condition-
they called him "a reject
from an archaeological expedition."

They thought of some complex
scientific explanation,
but assumed it was simple
supernatural reincarnation.

With the other young tots
he only played twice,
an ancient game of vergin sacrifice.
(But the kids ran away, saying, "You aren't very nice.")


alone and rejected, Mummy Boy wept,
then went to the cabinet
where the snack food was kept.


He wiped his wet slockets with his mummified sleeves,
and sat down to a bowl of sugar-frosted tanna leaves.

One dark, gloomy day,
from out of the fog,
appeared a little white mummy dog.


For his newfound wrapped pet,
he did many things,
like building a dog house
à la Pryimid of kings.


It was late in day-
just before dark.
Mummy Boy took his dog
for a walk in the park.


The park was empty
except for a squirrel,
and a birthday party for a Mexican girl.


The boys and girls had all started to play,
but noticed that thing that looked like a papíer mâché.

"Look its a píñata,"
said one of the boys,
"Let's crack it wide open
and get the candy and toys."

They took a baseball bat
and whacked open his head.
Mummy Boy fell to the ground;
he finally was dead.

Inside of his head
were no candy or prizes,
jast a few stray bettles
of various sizes.

Junk Girl

There once was a girl
who was made up of junk.
She looked really dirty,
and she smelled like a skunk.

She was always unhappy,
or in one of her slumps-perhaps 'cause she spent
so much time down in the dumps.

The only bright moment
was from a guy named Stan.
He was from the neighborhood
garbage man.


He loved her a lot
and made a marriage proposal,
but she already thrown herself
in the garbage disposal.



The Pin Cushion Queen

Life isn't easy
for the Pin Cushion Queen.
When she sits alone on her throne
Pins push through her spleen.



~By Tim Burton